a study based on journals

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A report of a life from life. ES studies existence. ES observes, records, and brings to light the experience of being human—as a continuous unfolding of moments, emotions, and inner life.

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The work is drawn from journal notes spanning decades, tracing the inner world of a young woman over time. Though based on the author’s experience, it is not about a particular person. It is about life itself—the process of living, feeling, searching, and becoming. It is not a memoir, nor a traditional autobiography, but rather a study of a psyche, the closest one available.

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ES captures the beauty of moments, thoughts, and the transformations that shape a life. The writing is both a reflection and an exploration, a weaving together of dreams, relationships, struggles, and revelations. It does not aim to impose conclusions or lessons—only to present experience as it is.

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At its core, ES is an act of witnessing—shining light upon the theater of being, standing at a distance yet fully immersed. It is a study of the self, but more than that, a study of what it means to be human.

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Ester Spitz is a Dutch writer and poet. She was born and raised in the Netherlands and has lived in Los Angeles since 1985. She has been active in theatre, film, and experimental theatre. Since 2010, she has been working on the ES series. The first volume of which appeared in March 2020.